Love Is Pure Coincidence And That You Have No Influence On The Person You Fall In Love
Love remains a great mystery that will probably never be fully understood. He knows no rules and follows no scientific laws. Why and when to fall in love with someone is still not one hundred percent clear. Many people even think that love is pure coincidence and that you have no influence on the person you fall in love approximate.
Many studies have already looked at the question, “Why do we fall in love?” It is interesting to see the results obtained. After all, love doesn’t always happen by accident and often depends on personal feelings and behaviors.
These seven factors can help you understand how you fall in love:
1. Belief in love is essential.
The most important thing first: you have to believe in love. If you blame your ex-partners for failing in your relationship, it will only make you bitter; you will no longer believe in love and reject the people you want to be accepted. This way, you can’t fall in love, and no one falls in love with you.
2. The events of childhood determine the choice of partner.
Unresolved childhood issues are often with us into adulthood and determine who we fall in love with; for example, those who suffered in childhood from his feelings. If, as a child, you felt that your parents were more of correctional officers who deprived you of your freedom, you will always choose partners who see you as a possession and are jealous. To avoid falling into this kind of pattern, you need to recognize the experience that traumatized you and resolve it. Thus, you will live your relationships free from any stigma.
3. A partner must meet our needs.
Besides unresolved trauma, we look for childhood wishes and desires in our romantic relationships. Whatever you wanted as a child, you want to experience it as a couple. These often happen subconsciously, and we are looking for partners we expect to love, cherish, desire, and care for us. They are supposed to give you what you are often not even ready for: to love and accept yourself as you are. Those who manage to make peace with themselves and take themselves increase their chances of being liked by others and do not need a partner.
4. It is more important to know what you are
Singles are often asked what the woman or man of their dreams looks like and what her qualities must be. However, love is not about knowing how the other person should be but learning how you want to be. If you think you know what your partner must be like to be suitable for you, then you are wrong because love is a feeling that develops in the subconscious. The only thing you can know is how you want to be, how you want to feel in a relationship, how you want to be treated, and how you want to behave. Instead of scrutinizing each person to see if they are the way you want them to be, get to know them and see if you feel what you want to think with them.
5. Love is unconditional.
You should be unconditional, but it is often linked with things like jealousy, which has nothing to do with love itself but with fear or insecurity. That is a feeling and should not be confused with the expectations or desires of your partner. The more conditions you put on others to make them feel loved, the harder it is for you to experience this wondrous feeling.
6. You can only find security in yourself.
Many people are traveling the world as if they were on autopilot most of the time. They don’t care what they’re doing, what that need, or even what they want right now. People who are emotionally insecure much seek safety in others. However, since security can only find in oneself, people constantly try to control what is happening, especially in relationships. They thus strip themselves of the odds of falling in love.
7. The couple also makes it possible to grow.
Almost everyone wants to be happy in a relationship, but that’s not the point. Your partner is not only someone you laugh with, share many things, help and support you, but also someone you argue with often, get on your nerves at times, and feel misunderstood. And that’s what the couple is as. You can evolve with your partner because he is the one who knows you best and who knows what your sensitive points are. A relationship is one of the best ways to grow.
Love is not a coincidence and does not depend solely on pheromones or the physique. Whether it’s behaviors, beliefs, inner attitudes, willingness, fears, many factors determine if and with whom you fall in love. Analyze and know yourself first before you start a relationship. That way is how you will experience something healthy.
Here are some other reasons why your relationships might not be going as well as you would like: